BY ANA ACLE

 A disheartened Lazaro Gonzalez returned home Thursday for the first time since his nephew Elian was taken away last weekend. His wife, Angela, and daughter, Marisleysis, couldn't bear to accompany him.

 ``We feel humiliated,'' he said after returning from Washington, D.C., where the Gonzalezes had failed to see Elian. He stood in his Little Havana yard. Out front, a makeshift crucifix had been attached to the chain-link fence, bearing a toy doll, arms extended and nailed, a black cloth wrapped around the doll's mouth.

 ``They violated my castle,'' he said of the federal agents who raided the home. ``The world needs to pay attention to this case so that there are no more families like the Gonzalezes.''

 His home remains just as it was after the raid. The front door is still broken and the home's contents are in disarray. The swing set behind the Little Havana home named El Parque de Elian sits empty.

 But the yard has become a memorial, festooned with more than 30 bouquets. On Thursday, florists kept delivering more. The fence holds numerous flags of different nationalities and signs expressing both sorrow (Elian will stay in our hearts) and anger (Federal child abuse: Would you let this happen to your child?).

 Marisleysis, who had shared her room with Elian, is keeping away. She is staying with relatives at an undisclosed location. And so is her mother, Angela.

 ``She feels well, but she's stressed,'' Gonzalez said. ``This has traumatized her, and she doesn't want to return to the house,'' Gonzalez said.

 A family friend, Robert Curbelo Jr., picked up some of Marisleysis' belongings from the home Thursday to take to her. Curbelo didn't speak much, but expressed his disappointment at the court's ruling earlier in the day not to appoint a temporary guardian.

 The family fears Elian will return to Cuba, he said.

 ELIAN'S COUSIN

 Elian's playmate and cousin, 5-year-old Lazarito Martell, has taken Elian's seeming disappearance the hardest. The boy was in the home during the time of the raid. His father, Alfredo Martell, says a psychologist is treating his son.

 ``He cannot sleep at night,'' Martell said. ``And the tear gas has worsened his asthma.''

 The boy has outbursts, often yelling ``Donde esta Elian? (Where is Elian?)''

 Gonzalez said he would like to see Elian, at the very least on television, so he can be assured that Elian is being taken care of by his father and not mistreated by Cuban agents.

 While the family reduces the number of public appearances, the Hispanic community pours out expressions of support. A protest is planned for 3 p.m. Saturday at Southwest Eighth Street and 13th Avenue. A stream of people visited the Little Havana home on Thursday.

 ``We're here to express our disappointment in the government and for the actions it took against a boy,'' said Mayra Estevez, an assistant office manager with Dr. Rafael Solernou. Wearing light violet uniforms, she and four colleagues brought a bouquet of white lilies to the Gonzalez home and hung it on the fence, next to white balloons already placed there.

 ``My hope is for the community to stay together, and to find freedom for Elian and all the millions of Eliancitos in Cuba,'' Estevez said.

 FROM NEW JERSEY

 Liliana Diaz of New Jersey and 12 relatives stopped by the home to show their support. She got a glimpse of Lazaro Gonzalez on his cellular phone in the backyard.

 ``We arrived Friday night from New Jersey and we felt sorry that we did not see Elian at his home here,'' Diaz said. ``We want to show our support for the family and for all they have struggled for.

 ``We're not against the boy being with his father, as many people have misinterpreted, we just don't want him to return to Cuba,'' Diaz said.

 As he stood in the yard, Lazaro Gonzalez said he hasn't given up.

 ``As long as I'm alive, I have hope,'' Gonzalez said. ``We want justice before the world's eyes, not in a hidden back room.''

                     Copyright 2000 Miami Herald